Scarbeary Family Website

Being at death brings us closer to everything.
Closer to the world.
Closer to life.
Closer to all living things.
     Being at death means being there.
     Seeing as it happens.
     Knowing what it looks like.
     Sharing the moment with another living being.
Being at death makes dying real.
Death moves through us and we know it.
We’re touching death in that moment.
Life is slipping away and spirit passes, dissolves.
     Witnessing the loss invades our Self.
     We feel our own life more real.
     Their death becomes part of us.
     And our own death becomes more real.
     Dying becomes a tangible experience.
We can visit the dying before the end.
We can view the departed at a funeral.
See the before and the after.
Missing the act of death.
Dying is a moment.
The final living journey.
The last living experience.
     One of the millions of moments we will all have.
     We don’t remember our birth.
     We won’t remember our own death.
     We will always remember being at death.
     That moment is forever buried deep into our Self.
It is a gift to bear witness, share and comfort their passing.
A gift given to both the now and once living.
The fortunate get a peaceful death.
With a companion to comfort the passing.
     Robbed of a goodbye, Stan was lost too young, too sudden.
     We were all stunned by the sudden loss of Marc.
     Stan and Marc are forever in my heart, my soul, my love.
     I was granted the gift to be with my father at the end.
     Now again given the gift to comfort Richard in his final moment.
Twice I’ve been given the gift of being at death.
After sudden loss,
the love and memories of Stan and Marc will forever remain in my soul.
Being at their death,
Father’s and Richard’s spirits are now forever buried in my Self.

     Don’t cry because it’s over.
     Smile because it happened.
     Dr. Seuss

-

He had it all

It was all laid out before him

He had what many called a perfect life

What happened?

-

He had fought in a war

And had come back alive

To meet his true love

What happened?

-

Together to college they went

Together married they were

Together a family they had

What happened?

-

Very well off they were always said to be

With each other and their family

They seemed to be so happy

What happened?

-

It was too good to last some now think

One bad decision to ruin what they had

Their relationship and family destroyed

What happened?

-

He up and left to pursue a new life

Leaving behind his six boys and his wife

All to fend for themselves and deal with his decision

What happened?

-

Some say it started in the war

Others don't know

But all try not to think about his decision

What happened?

-

This change of life

This change for the worse

Affected all loved ones forever

What happened?

-

It is now years later

The worst still to come

For he has been diagnosed

It has happened.

-

He has now given up

He finds no motive to live

His death will be slow

It has happened.

-

His sons have come back

For the first time in years

To stick by their father no matter

What happened?

-

They all fight with feelings

They have harbored for years

Now set behind them for

What happened?

 -

The brothers have honored

His last dying wish

To die in his home after

What happened?

-

Their lives all put on hold

For his last few days

As his life slowly drains because of

What happened?

-

His family now gathers

For the first time in years

To mourn his sad death because of

What happened?

-

Everyone now fights

With the situation now passed

As they all were affected by

What happened?

-

We've all heard this story

With minor things changed

We all know what happened

He died of AIDS.

-

a poem by Brooke Scarbeary

written in memoriam to her grandfather, Donald Leon Scarbeary